i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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