very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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