We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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