oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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