Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
