Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
