I must be too annoying 4 u.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
