The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize