this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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