I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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