i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
