Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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