Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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