Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
