dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
