i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
