my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
