just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
