Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
