We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Quick, to the slutcave!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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