I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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