More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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