Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
