your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
