The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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