im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
