Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
