It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
