So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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