Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
