You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize