im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize