I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
