the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
