i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
