How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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