Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
