I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we're making bets on your personal life
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
