I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
don't judge my taste in strippers
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
its liver damage thursday
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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