so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
