Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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