was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Four minutes until I can fart!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
