you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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