If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
