You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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