How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
