The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
