We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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