Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
