girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
