I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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