Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
