My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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