I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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