Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
