He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
