he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
