I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
