Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
