the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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