he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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