i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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