Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
