i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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