doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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