Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
