so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
