The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
this hospital has no fireball
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
