I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
