So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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