Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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