From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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