I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
